Sunday, March 01, 2009 Things I learnt in America

My recent two weeks on 'vacation' (holiday) in Florida has taught me some important life lessons. Use them wisely.

1. It is possible to drive 20 miles in 20 minutes. Unlike London, where it takes me 20 minutes to get half-way to the end of my road.

2. If you are the controller of a local radio station, you only need five songs on your playlist. It's even better if two of them are by Akon.

3. Chopping things, like onions or tomatoes, is a massive waste if time. Buy them pre-chopped and save vital stuffing-your-face time.

4. Engaging in conversation with shop assistants can result in your name literally being worn out.

5. A 4.8 litre engine is small and economical.

Oh, and according to the news, Brangelina is looking hotter than ever, Li-Lo is on another diet, Joaquin is an acting genius, and there is no credit crunch.

Well, they didn't say there isn't a credit crunch, but they didn't mention it so I assume it's over.